i feel very vulgar. VERY VERY VULGAR.

i hate my asshole coach. what the fuck. he says i was giving him the attitude. yea, probably cause there was a fucking problem in my mind that i couldnt stop thinking of. he just bloody walked out on me. its maybe cause i said he thinks that this is a fucking army. i dont get you. i havent been riding cause of my screwed up exams. im trying my best. to hell with you okay, fuck it. i hate your damned face.

i know, i was just very vulgar. but i couldnt control. i mean. i dont know. i feel stranded by people. i dont know. i really dont know. i feel pissed nd then i feel like a bitch. i feel weird. yesterday i only drank one cup of milo. then i didnt eat anymore. i dont know. its like those past two weeks were the same.

sometimes, its just these friends that let you know, about life.
but sometimes, its those friends that just tears your trust nd brings out insecurity.

so what if you think i sound like her.
at least, i dont think i do.
who cares if its booze or fuck.
it doesnt matter anymore does it, sandra?
cause i know im a person who fails for almost everything i come across.

okay, so im the only kid in singapore who qualifies to go represent singapore. but who gives a fucked up shit. it doesnt count. it doesnt matter what. its so fake cause its not there.

i told jiyin i feel stranded,
i found out why.
but i dont wanna admit it.
i feel like an asshole now.

oh yes, the date with my two dearies was freaking-like-in-your-face-awesome. (winkwink, leanne jiyin; do you remember where we got that from). yea, so i've got competition tmr. so, im gonna update tmr or something. i dont know. or maybe not cause i feel so vulgar nd just so drained. nevermind, i'll decide tmr.